Alzheimers

MAY 26, 2011

Alzheimer's and Gospel Transformation
A few weeks ago, I met Karyn Heath at a conference. As she spoke to me about her job caring for people with Alzheimer's, I immediately asked her to write a guest post for my blog. This is necessary reading for all those who fear the future and those who are dealing with this disease right now. --Carolyn

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Recently, I left two years of teaching in China to return to my home and job in the U.S. For me, introductions have become routine. After a few months in China, I could predict which questions would be asked when I met someone and what responses my answers would provoke. Now, as I transition back into my home church and hometown, I am finding that the questions and answers are equally predictable. While “Where do you work?” may seem to be a standard question, people’s responses to my answer are usually revealing.

I currently work in the activities department of an Alzheimer’s special care unit. This translates into the fact that I spend eight hours per day in a room with 20-30 people who are experiencing moderate to severe dementia from Alzheimer’s disease or another cause. Revealing this usually opens up interesting avenues of conversation. One sentiment that I hear often from people who talk to me about my job is this one: “I’d rather be dead than go through that.” People have a variety of ways of expressing this feeling, and most often I just nod and say something like, “It is a difficult situation for people and their families.” There are very few ways to accurately communicate anything about Alzheimer’s without becoming too intense for a “Hi! I just met you” conversation.

However, when I am speaking with someone who professes to have been transformed by the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I often cannot contain my passion when I hear him or her make a comment of this sort. Until recently, this passion would have come across with a strong flavor of righteous indignation, but now wise admonition, further study of God’s Word, and personal experience have tempered the expression of my views. To look ahead, even in one’s imagination, and see something as difficult as Alzheimer’s disease looming over one’s last days is naturally heart-wrenching and daunting. As Matthew Henry commented regarding Jesus’ prophecies in John 21 about Peter’s own difficult death, “He that puts on the Christian does not put off the man. Christ himself prayed against the bitter cup. A natural aversion to pain and death is well reconcilable with a holy submission to the will of God in both.”

That very concept of “holy submission” in the face of certain humiliating and ugly death is that with which my heart longs to challenge the body of Christ.

As Christians, we should recognize and revel in the sovereignty of God in every aspect of our lives. Our goal should be to bring glory to God, and, as we face trials and difficulties in this life, we spend much time in learning how to do that. In our growing, we learn to submit to God in all the twists and turns of life’s pathways. This is a common theme of our times of fellowship around the Word, of our songs, of our books. If we face death in an early or unnatural setting such as persecution or disease, we exhort one another to glory in the affliction as it brings us closer to God and brings to pass His purposes in the world. His joy and strength shine through our most trying moments with a light that is so much brighter than anything we could possibly manufacture with our own willpower or resources. The whole of life seems a classroom in which we learn these lessons.

I believe that we fail to see the fullest scope of God’s plan when we do not actively encourage one another to think rightly about God’s sovereignty over the last days of our lives. Perhaps, I exaggerate, but it seems that we envision that each godly Christian is entitled the perfect death scenario. We want be in our right minds, surrounded by loving family and friends in graceful dignity or otherwise slip away to heaven gently in our sleep. An extended illness we might face with fortitude, but certainly not one that might steal away our memories or personalities on its way. Yet in the very loss of self that terrifies us when facing Alzheimer’s or similar diseases is there not an unparalleled opportunity for seeing the transforming power of the Gospel?

In the years that I’ve worked in Alzheimer’s care, I’ve never actually heard someone say, “This may not be my choice, but it is God’s choice for me. I relinquish control of even my mind to Him. I can trust Him with even this.” I have, though, watched a tiny handful of people live this out. The beauty of their lives truly demonstrated the fact that God is magnified through weakness. They reached people that no one else will ever reach. In the process of Alzheimer’s disease and other illnesses that cause dementia, there is a point beyond which a decision like this can no longer be made. Whatever is inside will just begin to spill out, embarrassingly and uncontrollably. So, it is the thought processes or, rather, the heart processes that a person goes through before hand that have potential to shape their experience. Sometimes the emotion that pours out of a person in the throes of such a disease is fear or bitterness or anger long forgotten but now providentially dredged to the surface. In such a worst-case scenario, the witness of the Spirit of God’s work in that life is preserved in the memories of family members and friends who rehearse the Truth that ultimately sustains. More often in my experience, grace still shines through in small joys and courageous humor, in peace that transcends turmoil, in love that gushes out around the jagged edges of the mind.

I am reminded of a dear friend who recently died after struggling with early onset Alzheimer’s for a number of years. When I met him, he was only sixty-five years old. If you didn’t know his diagnosis, you’d have never guessed. His confusion and cognitive issues were slight and only his recent memory was unstable. Without a trace of bitterness, he gave up his dreams of retirement and threw himself wholeheartedly into “volunteering” at an Alzheimer’s day center. While he paid to attend, it truly was volunteering. He helped run programs and activities. He cleaned and cooked and sang. He courageously watched people around him lose their abilities and memories, knowing that this was his own path, also. He loved the other patients and the staff with a joyful passion that was free of bitterness. He comforted families with his humor and endured the breakup of his own marriage with longsuffering grace. By preparing for his future wisely, he was ready when it really was his time to live in the full care program since it had been his life for years. He was unashamed of his tears. Once he told me, “It’s like I’m going down a ladder into a dark hole with no way out. I feel like Job and ask God why.” Yet the darkness that shadowed his last days could not erase the blessing he had been to residents, staff, and families for so long. Examining my heart in the light of this possible painful path for my own family, I pray that we would have transparent dependency on God’s grace if such a situation were His plan for us.

We live on the edge of a time when a large section of our population will be heading into old age together, and the transition will include diseases like Alzheimer’s, financial problems, relocation, grief, and other problems. Our churches are full of people who, now in their fifties and sixties, will be facing these issues along with their families. The communities around us are already filled with needy seniors--physically, emotionally, and spiritually needy. While education and resources and programs are important, the preparation of our hearts before God is primary.

To return to Matthew Henry, “What a change will certainly be made with us if we should live to be old! Those who, when they were young, had strength of body and vigor of mind, and could easily go through business and hardship, and take the pleasures they had a mind to, when they shall be old, will find their strength gone, like Samson, when his hair was cut and he could not shake himself as at other times… It is the great concern of every good man, whatever death he dies, to glorify God in it; for what is our chief end but this, to die to the Lord, at the word of the Lord? When we die patiently, submitting to the will of God—die cheerfully, rejoicing in hope of the glory of God,—and die usefully, witnessing to the truth and goodness of religion and encouraging others, we glorify God in dying: and this is the earnest expectation and hope of all good Christians, as it was Paul’s, that Christ may be magnified in them living and dying.”

By God’s mercy and grace, may we endeavor to uphold our senior brothers and sisters in Christ who aspire to live and die this way!

Posted by Carolyn in Elder Care, Trusting God | Permalink ShareThis

SHAKE IT OFF

From the album: Wall Photos

By James H Cook Jr

"JUST SHAKE IT OFF AND STEP ON UP"

Years ago in rural Georgia, there was a farmer who had a mule named Ol’ Clyde. One day Ol’ Clyde fell into a deep dry well and began to cry loudly. Hearing his mule cry, the farmer came over and assessed the situation. The well was deep and knowing that Ol’ Clyde had gained a lot of weight over the years and was heavy, the farmer knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, to lift the animal out.

Because Ol’ Clyde was also old as well as too heavy to lift--and the well was dry--the farmer decided to bury the animal in the well. This way, as folks had to be very practical in those days, the farmer could solve two problems: put the old mule out of his misery and have his well filled at the same time. He called upon his neighbors to help him and they agreed. And off to work they went. Shovel full of dirt after shovel full of dirt began to fall on the mule's back. Ol’ Clyde became hysterical!

Then all of a sudden, an idea came to the brute beast. Each time they would throw a shovel full of dirt on his back he would shake it off and step up. And that’s exactly what he did. Shovel full after shovel full, Ol’ Clyde would shake it off and step up on the new pile of dirt.

At last, exhausted and dirty, but quite alive, the mule stepped up and over the top of the well and walked through the crowd!

How about that for a dumb ol’ mule? But, hey, what a great attitude that would be for you and me. What a great way for us all to approach life. Think about it, the next time you’re in too deep to get out and some folks just keep piling on, “Just shake it off and step on up!”

Action Steps For Anxiety

A Quote from a Quote from a Quote:
The following is copied from the blog by the pastor of Coral Ridge Church. (Tullian is a grandson of Billy Graham). He is quoting another article. I need this; I hope you don't. ???

Tullian Tchividjian
Pastor and Author


Action Steps For Anxiety

Given the trying times all of us are having to endure in one way or another, I found Susan Fiske's excellent article in the Fall 2009 edition of byFaith (the official magazine of the PCA) entitled Be Anxious for Nothing-Now? especially relevant-and deeply helpful.

In it she writes, "It is in prying open our hands from our abilities, accomplishments, and possessions that we can discover the true promise of God: Himself. [Paul] Tripp says, ‘The hardest thing to hold onto, but the most beautiful when we get it, is that what God promises to us in times of suffering is not first relief of the suffering. His promise is to give us Himself.'"

She then, very helpfully, outlines Paul Tripp's six action steps for anxiety (these are golden):

Remind Yourself That God Is In Control: When you convince yourself that your world is out of control, you are on the verge of paralysis. Watch your self-talk. Are you saying to yourself: "God is in control of this circumstance, He is my Father, and He is ruling this for my benefit"?

Accept Confusion: Believing in God's sovereignty doesn't mean life will make sense. Believing in God's sovereignty is needed because life doesn't make sense. Your rest is not in figuring out your circumstances-your rest is in the God behind the circumstances.

Don't Allow Emotions to Rule: As much as the emotions you experience will be right, good, and appropriate, don't let them set tDon't Allow Emotions To Rulehe agenda. There is a temptation to do that, but allowing yourself to be pulled away by the emotions of the moment could cause you to regret your decisions later.

Distinguish Needs From Wants: Be very careful what you put in your catalog of "need." The minute you tell yourself something is a need, you're saying it is essential for life. Then you are going to determine that you can't live without it. It's easy to attach yourself and your sense of security to the gift rather than to the Giver.

Know Your Job Description: God promises to provide. Your job is to live the way God has called you to live. Instead of giving way to discouragement, look for ways you can contribute to God's people at the moment.

Run To God, Not Away From Him: God's promise to us is not first the relief of the suffering-His promise is to give us Himself. He will never turn a deaf ear to the natural cries of a person of faith when life doesn't make sense. God hears and answers and works and comforts.

WORRY...PASSING THE TORCH

Is there a magic cutoff period when Offspring become accountable for their own actions? Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in The lives of their children and shrug, 'It's their life,' and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few Stitches in my daughter's head. I asked, 'When do you stop worrying?' The nurse said, 'When they get out of the accident stage.' My Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career making license plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher said, 'Don't worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them.' My dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, 'they're trying to find themselves. Don't worry, in a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be adults.' My dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle. There was nothing I could do about it. My Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing. I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments.

My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my dad's warm smile and his occasional, 'You look pale. Are you all right? Call me the minute you get home. Are You depressed about something?'

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me, 'Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried.' I smiled a warm smile. The torch has been passed.

EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW

Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark. ..One : Don't miss the boat. Two : Remember that we are all in the same boat. Three : Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark. Four : Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big. Five : Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done. Six : Build your future on high ground. Seven : For safety  sake, travel in pairs.Eight : Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs. Nine : When you're stressed, float a while. Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals. Eleven: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.

DON'T WORRY