YOUR TIME IS COMING

When you wake up in the morning, push your elbows out away from your body. If you don't strike wood, you haven't been buried yet.

When you wake up in the morning and nothing hurts, you will know you are dead.

When you wake up in the morning and can get out of bed by yourself, it's the beginning of a GREAT day.

Then check the obituaries in the morning newspaper and, if your name isn't there, get dressed.